An Italian Affair is the most unusual memoir that I have ever read about how a woman coped with divorce. When I describe the book to other people, they refuse to believe that it is not fiction. But the author says that the events occurred, and only the names have been changed. For those who like their romances to be exotic and perfectly shaped, An Italian Affair will lend new fanatasies. On the other hand, those who are concerned about proper behavior will wonder about the authors pursuit of pleasure with a married father. Whether you admire or admonish Ms. Fraser, you will be charmed by her marvelous writing and sense of joy. Ms. Frasers marriage broke up in a most ugly way. Her husband of a year told her he had changed his mind about having children, and began staying out late. One night, she came home to find him cavorting with an old high school girl friend. After the divorce, he married the old girl friend and had a child with her.
Ms. Fraser is now past 35 and feels her chance to be a mother ticking away. She is bent by the betrayal, but unbroken. Her work as a writer takes her around the world, and while visiting friends in Italy, she is encouraged to find an Italian lover on the island of Ischia. Soon Italian men are showing interest, but she connects instead with a Parisian who is half Italian on his annual vacation without his wife and children. His wife also sees other men, and they seem to have an "open" marriage. He is waiting for a Spanish brunette who has stood him up, but Ms. Fraser doesnt find out about this until later. M. teaches art, but also seems talented in the art of beautiful living and making her feel beautiful and appreciated. Over the next two years, they find many opportunities to meet around the world and continue the relationship. He encourages her at the end to find someone like himself who isnt married.
This book can also be enjoyed as a travelogue of the many wonderful places they visited and how to enjoy time with someone you like to be with. The locations include Milan, London, San Francisco, Los Angeles, the Aeolian Islands, and Morocco. The pair has a special affinity for beaches and bare bathing, and fine food. To me, some of the most exquisite writing is about the food and wine they enjoyed together.
What I found most appealing about the book was the way that M. could pay a compliment, avoid hurting her feelings, and make her feel appreciated while being perfectly candid that he wasnt in love with her and intended to stay married to his wife. If you take those skills and put them into a loving relationship, even better results should occur!
For example, Ms. Fraser has a negative body image. M. describes that Renoir, Ingres, Boucher, and Poussin would have enjoyed having her as a nude model. He also caresses her in those places where she is most self-critical.
After you finish enjoying this memoir, I suggest that you think about how you could capture some of its romance for you and your spouse or the person you are dating.
Learn to speak and act more lovingly!
Opening Up to Life Amid Divorces Ugliness